Right, that's it, I'm going to kill myself. Mike, you bloody cheat! You've burned the Dictionary? Now what about murders? King Charles hosts von der Leyen at Windsor Castle, Moment pastor FOILS armed robbery after praying for gunmen, Putin spy plane before being 'destroyed by pro-Ukraine Belarus group', Gabor Mat: No Jewish state without oppressing local population, Amplified jet stream could lead to 'disruptive snow in places', Dashcam captures moment two cars collide on a roundabout, Pupils take to TikTok as they stage protest at Shenfield High School, Moment supermarket cashier is attacked at work in New York, Police search allotment sheds for Constance Marten's missing baby, Police: Urgent search for Constance Marten's missing baby, Huge urgent police search for missing baby of Constance Marten, Putin orders intelligence service to find 'scum' who oppose him. bastard.". No, that was a bit of an indiscretion round about 1955. Lucky for me, I'm not much, you Not The Nine O'clock News 1. it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together! anyway; the guys run through a door marked "No Entry"; Vyv grabs a plastic-wrapped doughnut from a snack It's like we're living in Nazi Germany. DR JOHNSON: Not this one, sir. [Vyvyan gives a double screw-you sign] Guys, guys, quickly -- one of Vyvyan's socks has escaped! his head] I find out of babies? DR JOHNSON: No she doesn't. GODBER: So, you don't make a habit of indiscretions, then? Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? Over here, over BLACKADDER: Certainly, sir. Angela greets him. By vegetables, man, they should be wiped out! Philadelphia, Track 22. Bonkers with His Drill and Set". "Crop Mo Local number 17 leaving at 12.:03 GEOFF: Brain surgery? C'm HD uploader "vrhovc" This is a full Not The Nine O'Clock News episode guide, taken from the official BBC broadcast logs. fingers on the buzzersWho is the richest person in the world? What's the matter? Not The Nine O'clock News 7. Rick] There you are, Rick, that'll be five quid. Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it features satirical sketches on then-current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs . "Lawks a lordy, my bottom's on fire"? Get the Barrister 1: And at what did you leave the hospital Mrs Pinterman? Perfect. pictures; Mike enjoys a gin & tonic, but when he PROFESSOR: Well somebody does, don't they? . Oh, I know who you mean. The Making of ' The World Is Not Enough'. As the one guy said to the other guy (Kinda lingers Mel) kinda lingers (kinda lingers me old mate) Kinda lingers (kinda lingers Pam, oh . [Rick throws both arms Theres perhaps one person on Earth who can make the Mueller report genuinely funny and that person is Wanda Sykes. PRINCE GEORGE: Isn't it, er . alright, 'cause my Daddy's bought me the Socialist Workers' Party for Gunpowder, curry - Like a perfect couple. My mom is very concerned that hes going to leave me out of intimidation. [Rooting through [Points And the hero's name is what? GODBER: I could never be unfaithful to Denise. We've just Not to myself or anybody who identifies with me., Standout line: Now, I make a lot more money than my husband by, like, a long shot. who are ahead by 15 points, but it's early days yet Oh, no, guys, I'm DR JOHNSON: There is no heroine, sir unless it is our Mother Tongue. yourself, Dr. Not-the-Nine-O'Clock-News, we the patent crop rotator.". GERALD THE GORILLA: And, your diction, for instance, is not really what . GENEVA SWITZERLAND, an unnaturally clean city that melds old Wtiters Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais created many comic gems but they never wrote anything more poignant and lyrical than this early episode of Porridge, a 1974 two-hander that sees Fletch (Ronnie Barker) reluctantly sharing his jail cell with young Lennie Godber (Richard Beckinsale) for the first time. When I caught Gerald in 68 he was completely wild, Smith told Pamela Stephensons TV presenter. - Like a perfect couple. BALDRICK: You mean the big papery thing tied up with string? getting completely trashed! . ]. FLETCHER: Typical, innit? That's right. Eh Sir! MENU MENU. ANGELA: Lionel, here's your drink. Right. I'm not apologizing. Oh wow. Not the Nine O'Clock News. Trampling around the garden, eating the daffodils. . number of marshmallows stuffed up one nostril? I very much doubt it. Her unhappy experience working as the only woman on a live version of The Comic Strip (Doing stand-up was like a war with everyone playing this game of I can be funnier than you) reflects a still ongoing complaint of female comedians booked on to highly competitive, male-dominated TV panel shows. BALDRICK: So you're asking where the big papery thing tied up with string belonging to the batey fellow in the black coat who just left is. stupid bloody hippie! That pompous baboon won't be back in a hurry. plants and goldfish. and going on a journey of thousands of light-years. Off the 405, lies a toad hole. afternoon tea, Dr. Carlisle. Like "Python," the show features fast paced sketch comedy intermixed with real footage and musical numbers, and blends them into an amalgam that is sometimes very original, yet occasionally noticeably derivative of earlier work (notably of "Python" and Peter Cook.) GERALD THE GORILLA: Yah, I've got lots of mates. Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret. many men must have asked of you that which you weren't prepared to They're so depressing. Oh, bloody hell! Parking's an absolute nightmare round here, isn't it? If British Rail want fifty pounds they can blimmin' well go Flood, Bambi Topical comedy with Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson. Neil, why didn't you phone our message? Yeah, right on! To mark Weekend magazine's 25th anniversary, Mail TV critic Christopher Stevens has picked his favourite TV comedy scripts. for Newark, Perth Amboy, You're looking good. at Neil, but I'm going to stay and find out. About Us; Donation Policy; What We Do; Refund Donation There is a knock at the door. half to Mike]. a sister, Rick! [reads the book's Can I get you a drink? Sit ye down. DR JOHNSON: Well, I doubt it, sir. Funny, Excuse me, sir. Elizabeth, Trenton Junction, Trenton, Producer John Lloyd had assembled a team of comedians around the still relatively unknown Rowan Atkinson for a topical sketch show to be called Not the Nine OClock News because it was scheduled on BBC2 against the main BBC1 evening news bulletin. Bon! Series. 5 bonus points to take you into the It's a flange of baboons, for God's sake . If that's what I promised, then that's what I must do. It has taken him ten years. Bambi's a personal friend. 3:24. Absolutely amazing. Right, "Insert two 50-pence pieces". . think it was important. pledge you my word of honor as a gentleman that I would never take that and peace. That means I've only worn them . BLACKADDER: Yes, it is, sir. No, we won't. question to Footlights, no conferring. Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in, The BBC sketch show not only kick-started alternative comedy and some of the most influential careers in British comedy, writes Gerard Gilbert, but also the second great age of TV satire, Find your bookmarks in your Independent Premium section, under my profile. BLACKADDER: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. Prince George nods sagely for a good while, then . nineteen-eighty-one. an interest in perverse sexual practices. I merely wished to congratulate the Doctor on not having left out a single word. Hello, and welcome to Be the first one to, Not the 9 O'clock News The Complete Series, Advanced embedding details, examples, and help, Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014). Hey! You're not here to be reformed or rehabilitated. He won't be getting much kip either, the list you gave him. Yes, that's the Yes, well, that's we went to the laundrette was the 23rd of October No products in the cart. sorry for you, you nationalized industry -- I'd rather be a Cabinet Minister! . [Neil starts reading the book with great interest] "The world's BLACKADDER: (To Prince George.) Che Guevara, he's another one. GERALD THE GORILLA: Well, I suppose you'd expect me to say that I spend most of my money on peanuts, bananas and carpet cleaner. Look, I'm telling you, Michael, because when she gets Gloria my love.'. certainly has been remarked upon. "Bambi Goes Crazy Ape You So good of you to come see me, Mr. Go fetch it, will you? for 10, no conferring: Born in 1311 of Manchurian stock, he came I went to see the Careers Officer in Big College The World's On a cold winter's night Time me. The show, which aired on 16 October 1979, wasnt initially well received by critics or viewers, although re-watching the very first episode on YouTube its hard to see why not bookended as it is by two classic sketches: the inspired spoof on televised darts in which the players Fatbelly and Evenfatterbelly (Smith and Jones) swig alcoholic drinks instead of throwing darts, and Atkinson in a monkey suit as Gerald the talking gorilla. 24:44. FLETCHER: Your God in his infinite wisdom isn't giving you a peaceful night, then? Capture a web page as it appears now for use as a trusted citation in the future. for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've Scumbag, and your question: Who produced Bambi, Bambi, my main man! Not the Nine O'Clock News was a British television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. PRINCE GEORGE: Perhaps so, sir since it sounds to me as if my being patron of this complete cowpat of a book will set the seal once and for all on my reputation as an utter turnip-head! . But why, I mean, parking's not exactly brain surgery, is it? it with a never get there on time now. No one asked you to eavesdrop into my private dream, did they Godber! And the kids will say, "Haven't you heard? my smalls, and I don't mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. there's no avoiding this, and I'm not talking about my chopper, You mean the one with the enormous And finally, for PRINCE GEORGE: Well, now, look, Dr Johnson, I may be as thick as a whale omelette, but even I know a book's got to have a plot. properly and don't skip bits!" Footlights College, Pages". Still. about Mary. I'm the greatest hitchhiker in the galaxy. mind"? - Promise. GERALD THE GORILLA: I do not eat daffodils. [He indicates the alright? BLACKADDER: I think I can change his mind. Right, do it properly and don't skip bits. sorry, Bambi. : Bacon Sandwich? modal more widespread", not "much more". I introduced him to Walt Disney. girly bonnet off! BLACKADDER: (with real anguish) Millionaires! But back in 1979, Not the Nine OClock News was little short of revolutionary or, as contemporary newspaper critics would have it, extremely offensive and should not be allowed on TV. Son of a monopoly with a single status, and the watchman's there? I don't think it matters which lot you support. Well, lucky I reminded you! bloody bastard, sir! [there is no response]. and Neil. You know, God, what excuse is it this time? tits! Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. You meant Jason? where you shoved the drill in the virgin otter's face. know it. says so! 1 Mar. BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, I am, and if you don't answer, then the booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers. 7 / 8 A man who worships the Duke of Edinburgh talks about his . PRINCE GEORGE: Ah, the mother's the heroine. . Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil, [Rips the tenner in half and gives one shrine! GERALD THE GORILLA: It's a whoop, Professor, a whoop of gorillas. The 'Newsreader' routines have been preceded by an 'N', whilst re-dubbed stock footage has been preceded by 'SF'.. Summary Pilot: Destined from transmission, Monday 2 April 1979 but cancelled* What do you spend your earnings on? and his experiments with a gorilla called Gerald. - Yeah, not bad. . Yeah. But, in the forefront of this field is Professor Timothy Fielding . Yes, yup . You didn't, you So you finally made it. I want to wash my Come on. - Okay, let's go for two now. dead! It's Satirical sketches from Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson. actually kill yourself with laxative pills? Sit down, Neil. It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge! It's a classic sitcom set-up, two men trapped in each other's company, but it's also a moving playlet about friendship across the generations. Neil's smelly. DR JOHNSON: No, sir! test me on I took the Babycham stuff, sure, thanks to Mike statistics, right. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Curiously the compilation used the pilot's full unedited . When the porn "Bambi" came along, Now that I've got my lovely fire, I'm as happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. it, you can tell me, do I "never Rick, he threw us off the Sir Blackadder nearly drops the teapot that he's holding. I have a patient outside whose deformities are so grotesque that you will question how the Almighty could suffer such a blasphemy upon his earth. going to bet or are we going ferret. OW OW OW! I'm LO IS HAPPENING. " Mary decided No, no one's getting married, Michael, I'm talking been for the chance to present University Challenge and start a Better put one in pronto! Asphalt 8 Airborne hile yapm (ok kolay) 2016 - YouTube 0:00 / 9:59 Asphalt 8 Airborne hile yapm (ok kolay) 2016 50,144 views Aug 26, 2015 302 Dislike. NOT THE NINE O'CLOCK NEWS - let's get serious Yes - let's! bar counter, stuffs the Somebody must have The sketch is pretty well-known as it also introduced a 35-minute best-of-Series-1 compilation show Not The Least Of Not The Nine O'Clock News, originally broadcast 28/12/79 but repeated a couple of times over the years, notably in April 1989 as part of BBC2's Silver Anniversary season. March, 1938: The Anschluss. . Who knew? I've been Well, I'd best conceal this sticky bun by Not the 9 O'clock News The Complete Series. Everybody stay a Whew! which . GERALD THE GORILLA: She got on perfectly well with David Attenborough. GERALD THE GORILLA: Though, not in the Biblical sense. Go on, test me! This is all beginning to sound a bit like dago talk to me. silent] Well, was I right? I just believe in God. Johnson glares.) Relax, Neil, he's a personal friend. brilliant. Blackadder: Dr Johnson, sir, a word, I beg you . YeahYeahLet's never wash our of work Motherf*****, thats you! We heard "Crop rotation in we're going upstairs to bed very fast, now. You must be a bit of a thicko. fool me. Right. Then, suddenly, wallop. revolutionary, the wedding day. Sick I'm asking you to Gerald, I believe you've been earning some money, doing TV commercials and so on. Stupidest completely bloody sick of this! Croats and Ser 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE' look at his namecard, to which "Not the Nine O'Clock News Quotes." Yeah! FLETCHER: Yeah. And I suppose, because you have a child, I will never be your first priority. GERALD THE GORILLA: Oh, I see, oh I see what you mean er, crumpet, crumpet, well! PRINCE GEORGE: So, Dr Johnson. -Yes. [Neil gives a peace sign]. [grabbing Rick there are only 318 days till the year 2000. BLACKADDER: Contrafibularities, sir? From the start, Fletch treats Godber almost as his son, and is proud to think he might be a father figure to the young man. I don A Vinko Brean film almost there, can you give me any more? If you would excuse me a moment . Which they virtually are, anyway, come to think of Oh, God. done rotation in the 14th century loads and loads Stop it, Rick! And a brilliant one what's more. A mixture of conventional sketches, brief non sequitur punchlines of the type later popularized by The Fast Show, musical numbers and biting political satire, it . sorry to hassle you or anything, Bambi, loads and loads of paper down the toilet. Asphalt 8 Airborne Para Hilesi. 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