LW here Nope, I dont use any kind of incense or oil diffusers at home. I sincerely dont mean to be rude, but in those moments its nearly impossible for me to contain my irritability. Im super-sensitive to the smell of tobacco smoke, but this does go to show you that it can linger in unexpected places. assigning women extra work to help them, calling out when youre in the ER, and more. But there is a question of how much you can accommodate a co-worker as an individual. Also, I cant deal with the smell of Febreeze. Go away. And I was laughed at. I use a kind of spicey hand cream as a scent and I have noticed that it is hard to get out of clothes. I hadnt thought about what a can of worms that would be! Now I'm drug and sniffle free. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. Fortunately, he did not continue to complain about my scented lotion. I love scented candles and I burn them regularly at home. Ah, I see you already made my point about how other people might have conflicting allergies. ! comment kinda looks like this coworker is looking for drama. Oh, thats interesting! It's possible that it's lingering in a way that you don't realize. Ive stopped wearing perfume, have switched to unscented deodorant, and I wash my clothes in unscented detergent. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. They gave us a list of suggested unscented, fragrance free, hypoallergenic laundry and hygiene items. The funny thing is my mom uses patchouli, so I associate that particular scent with mom-ly ladies. These are all instances she smelled. I was going to suggest this. And if this is how OP functions, what about the other coworkers? First it was people smacking gum, then chewing crunchy foods with their mouth open, and now its almost any audible chewing sounds at all. We've compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you're at work. I agree with you, and I think that so many of the suggestions here were way over the top. how do you handle being pregnant at work? It just struck me how familiar some of this sounded and wanted to offer another possibility. So yeah. I only tried it in my hair once years ago, though. I think Ive only asked someone once to stop wearing her perfume (I only worked in that office a few days a month so I figured she could maybe just not wear it those days, and she generally didnt after that which I really appreciated.) And certain West African men wear cologne. I try really hard to balance my wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me! If the interruptions continue, speak to the person in private. If the co-worker was a jerk about it I might get dramatic and fling myself to the floor and wail, what more do you want from me? But thats really better left for fantasy, I suppose. Ive also been wearing my oils since I started, and she only just complained about it a month ago. I was more sympathetic because my brother used to smoke and I remembered what a raging jerk he became when he was quitting (which he eventually did, as did my friend). I supervise a manager who falsified an employee write-up but I dont think she should be fired, getting out of shared intern housing, why are so many executives condescending, and more, interviewer fake-rejected me to see if I would fight for the job. Yep. I may be off base, but if the OP was using an oil type product, and depending on where she used it, like on wrists or forearms, could it be lingering on the desk or office chair? I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. Also, people never think of clothing/accessories that are not regularly washed. Just make sure over time they don't start pulling to those spots! It was actually a specific experiment testing chemotherapy-related food aversions. This woman is over the top. There are other ways to work this outside besides demanding that OP never comes into contact with anything remotely scented. Now that Im older, Im having issues with strong floral scents. Anyway, I could definitely see it clinging to clothes from air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags. OMG! If one were going to be pedantic about it, the solid perfumes would be the only ones properly referred to by the word perfume. I will sometimes start to smell a certain scent that I associate heavily with a person when Im on the phone with him. I know the LW said she does not enjoy chemical-y scents, but are there any other scents that the LW enjoys that wouldnt bother the coworker? Its a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. Oh trust me, I've been trying to get a private office for years. Call Him on It. People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. Its miserable. The point is, it is perfectly reasonable to ask coworkers to make modest changes to help with allergies or even plain discomfort, but at a certain point, the burden shifts to the coworker if theres still a problem. I am all about being considerate to the people around you, but Im having a hard time with this one too, because I agree that no one should be expected to change their home/weekend habits and change up all their products to accommodate a coworker. lol, I still do miss the vinegar in the rinse, and I could never smell it. All rights reserved. I ended up leaving for another job. :(, Why is Alison mentioning lemon scented body wash? Though we also had an open thread commenter who had smell problems that it seemed might be due to her vinegar rinses, so Id say go easy on those too. Refer them to another coworker or someone who's working on something similar, so they can help each other. You might have to accept it for now, since you cant reasonably ask her not to wear her favorite perfume on dinner dates, nor can anyone else dictate her showering schedule for her. If anything, Ive been thanked by the majority of the office for saying something. It can be very painful and isolating to have this kind of sensitivity. From what Ive read, it seems that if this happened to me I would have to spend several hundred dollars replacing every toiletry and all laundering supplies in my home, wash everything I own multiple times and most likely get all coats and heavy fabrics dry cleaned, and even THEN the coworker may still not be happy with my potential scent. But to negatively comment about any group is . Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. Life is hard enough without complaining about the scents that dont try to kill me. My coworker is constantly coughing and blowing her nose My coworker who I share an office with has been sick for the past month and a half. Oils and fragrances with higher concentrations of aromatic compounds have more longevity but, in general, less sillage than their alcohol-based and/or less concentrated counterparts. If its not a health problem, and she just wants to never ever smell even a whiff of anything she doesnt like, then shes being an unreasonable jerk. I think it would be pretty unreasonable for someone whos bothered by it to insist that, for instance, a coworker stop treating their psoriasis appropriately just because of the smell of their shampoo. What would I have to do then buy all new clothes to eradicate a scent that may or may not exist? I dont have a huge wardrobe, so most if not all of my office-appropriate clothes have been washed since then, so Im pretty sure that there are no lingering traces hanging on. Its making me sneeze sooooo bad!! OP should do what she can to avoid being overly fragrant at work, but she doesnt need to cut anything and everything that smells from her life. Maybe a (different) co-worker, in case the smell is lingering around the OPs work station as mentioned below. All the advice about deep cleaning all bedding and coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling. And laundry care routines arent always simple either my mom has allergic reactions to many common brands of detergent, so finding a new unscented brand that doesnt make her break out in hives would be, again, a trial and error process that could get expensive fast. carpet? I often get mild nose bleeds and post nasal drip. Youve done whats reasonable at this point. If I had to start changing out my entire home routine to unscented products and avoiding incense and oils at home just to avoid bringing them into the office well chances are Id probably start stinking like cat. (Sometimes I feel like a hypochondriac, since I have so many medical conditions, but I swear Im not! Which is a good thing to have anyway. Negatively challenge your work or attack your work values in the office. In other words, I tried steps 1-4 above, but was on my own to deal with this nut and couldnt get anything to work. I used to love a scented oil, Rose Musk and I had to stop wearing it because I had two bosses that made their eyes water. I have spent years finding a shampoo routine that doesnt make my hair look really clean, but is passable, affordable, and most importanly doesnt make me bleed. +100 my workplace has those cans of Febreze in the bathroom and while I get the need for them, I do get that, its still awful and headache-inducing for me when someone sprays it. I recommend using those products only with direction from your doctor., Nasal obstruction. I work closely with her, so I immediately apologized and washed it off, and havent worn any of my perfume since. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. Oh, now that you say that Im remembering that she didnt complain once about the intern we had last summer who practically bathed in Axe products I asked him once and he had the body wash AND the cologne/body spray stuff! The immune response necessary for an allergic reaction cant be caused by synthetic chemicals. Does that even matter though? Your nose is a faucet, and theres no way to turn it off. There was actually a study done a while ago that found that a lot of people with sensitivities to fragrance actually had psychosomatic sensitivities. Im sure she thinks that the scent is gone I have no doubt about her sincerity and Im also pretty sure Id be able to tell on the Monday if shed worn patchouli that weekend. I actually had a coworker use this as a bullying tactic about 7 years ago. The place sold those cinnamon-scented pine cones and she was right at the front where they were stocked. That is what co-worker is complaining about. The coworkers rudeness is the problem. There can be essential oils, plant derivatives, and masking fragrances in unscented products. My purse? Urp. The entire planet is not going to change to accommodate you. ), just so she can say shes done everything she can. The manager role is responsible for guiding, coaching, onboarding and exceeding targets for a team of up to 8 AMs. Also, interestingly enough, I have grandparents who live in another country. I would abstain from actively putting on perfume before work, but I wouldnt get up early to shower before work if that wasnt something I felt like doing. I mean I get the idea but thats a heck of a food to ruin. Ive always had it and its bananas impossible to explain to anyone without coming off as a jerk when Id suddenly fume or snap a pencil under the table or run away from the dinner table. If you feel as though you're about to burp, get up from your desk and walk to the washroom or even an empty part of the office. I was thinking that too. I think the OP has already gone above and beyond, but it wouldnt be a bad idea to dot the remaining is and cross the remaining ts (air fresheners at home, in public restrooms, or in the car, dryer sheets, etc. Still I'm on the fence as to what is more annoying - blowing the snot or sucking the snot. OP, youve done all thats reasonable & more. I have had reactions to certain smells, even one flavor of herbal tea, that makes me sneeze and sneeze. Im the same way about artificial fragrances and I love essential oils. She . My mom says the same thing about Caress body wash. (Especially since you cant actually smell it unless you are sniffing my head, and no one at work has any business sniffing my head. I have had to give away clothes I bought on eBay before that were so saturated with perfume that I could not wash it out, even with multiple washings and with leaving the garment hanging outside in the fresh air a long time. Either way, the Rooster's passive approach allows them to maintain a level of deniability. Oh yeah, thats smart too. My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. It was rather sad! Your tissue box might get a little lonely, Im actually surprised to see the majority of the comments focusing on try X, when it seems pretty clear that the coworker has become the problem, regardless of what smells may or may not be lingering on the OP or her belongings. Or the chair, if its a fragrance she was wearing for a while before the coworker first complained? It took me like two years and several hundred dollars worth of products before I found something that worked for my hair and they will pry my weirdly pineapple-scented hair gel from my cold, dead hands. A Critical Coworker - 5 Reasons Why Here are 5 reasons why your coworker is so critical of you: They Don't Like You Too Controlling Genuine Advice Habit Too Smart In this section we will explain why your fellow worker has that irritating habit of always poking their nose into your work and pointing out something they don't like! She is rude. Youve made many changes to try to accommodate her and theyve been unsuccessful. Anyway, since then the smell is so offensive to me. I was wondering about the timing of these complaints, OP mentions they started about a month ago, did anything happen at that time between OP and this coworker? Say nothing. I made a similar comment waaaaay below. If exposed long enough, the migraine wont go away after exposure and can last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke. Exactly my thought. However, the color protecting haircare products I use have a smell, and Id be salty about discontinuing them because my color would fade a lot faster without them. Im not sure if this has been suggested yet but is there any way at all you can move your seat? Id refrain from wearing perfume to work, and from using scented soaps and lotions during the work week (or using them for date night, but then washing them off before bed). Agreed. We got fried chicken and rode the train home together . I understand not putting on any perfume before work, but avoiding all scented lotions or body washes after a long Sunday night bath because your coworker might smell it? But not always. :). I think that it might be another coworker or it could be the scent from a product used to clean the office. Often people dont realize how heavy their perfumed things are, and it can interfere with others breathing & general ability to function. I will admit that I love patchouli, though. Exactly. Or would you prefer that sound to sniffling? very invasive advice). Yeah. It could be that every time you move the chair or the decorative pillow or whatever other object that may have been infused with scent, that it unleashes a little puff of scent. To this day, 20+ years later, the smell of chocolate (especially warmed, as in fresh-baked cookies) makes me queasy. That seems pretty unreasonable. At some point, you gotta be able to cope. For the people who dislike it or for whom it is an unexpected smell, it is hated. So, since theres no history of odor-complaints it sounds like Coworker found a bone to pick with LW and will exhaustively harp on any smell coming from her. Either way, a physical exam can easily detect any sinus and/or allergy problem. If it were a worse reaction I might say something, but right now I dont. OK, thats fine and I can handle that. I love shoe sniffing stories, especially when it involves hot girls with stinky shoes. . If Im being charitable to the coworker, I think this may be happening; shes having a real reaction to a non-existent smell because she assumes its there. Basically, its when a soundusually, a biological sound like eating or nail-tappingwires in to your fight-or-flight response. I once did a volunteer gig in a bingo hall this was before tobacco regulations were tightened in public locations and afterwards I could smell the smoke until I washed my sneakers, my purse (fabric, luckily), and my coat and scarf. Does she comment on people in the office who take smoking breaks and come back smelling slightly like cigarettes? Does anything in your home smell like patchouli? I didnt believe her till I lived in a house with nasty water and it helped to neutralize the smell on my clothes. Its my personal opinion. I never smelled when she needed a ride anywhere or we werent in the office. Yeah she can look for more scent sources, but none of this makes any sense. I know were not supposed to criticize OPs, but come on. In this particular case, I think the OP has done enough and its time to bring the boss in to either shut down the rudeness or find the coworker a new place to sit. The other day, I was waiting for the elevator and he hurried over, asked me to hold the elevator so he could leave too. So I do what I can to not work right next to those coworkers with triggering scents, and ignore the ones that are just annoying or that I just dont like. And I agree, shes probably smelling patchouli in her head as it were. Issues are raised. We havent had any disagreements about politics, pop culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike me. C: Understanding that it might not be OP, but that for a really legitimate reason coworker THINKS it is, at least unconsciously and D: the only way to take the bias out of the experiment is to NOT know where or whether OP is in the room when the test is being done. If its that severe, then the person who has that reaction needs to be figuring out their own way to avoid things, not putting the entire burden of it on their coworkers. 10% off Management Today's Leadership Learning programme. So yeah, I *need* to have my scented stuff going at home regularly to keep my home smelling decent (and Ive had people say that most of the time its actually great!) Dryer sheets? Be clear that you took her complaints seriously & youve done all you can reasonably do, then suggest that she look for other causes that arent you. Lots of open space and cubicles and the offices are reserved for leadership. I have no idea what patchouli actually smells like, but I recognize it through its pop culture association with a negative stereotype of unwashed pot-smoking hippie types. Grandboss there actually had a candle burning that was majorly causing issues, and heis version of being accommodating was to ask what candles I burn at homeNone, I have asthma. I would only put it on the wearer if they were not respecting my desire not to be around it. It took a long time, and as a result I cant use that detergent anymore because I associate it with spending hours with a mattress that reeked of pee. I hate the taste/smell of passion fruit now because of some misadventures involving passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago. It's a tell-tale sign that your coworker wants a relationship outside of work. On a particularly strong scent day a few months ago, I mentioned this to her, and she seemed quite responsive and apologetic. Hopefully your boss can accommodate and move her, or you?? If shes going to be a jerk when Im basically completely unscented, why not just go whole hog and smell delightful? Does anyone have answer. All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. Even when I blow my nose a lot it doesn't help sometimes. The scent fades on me the way it is blended to, but when I lent it to a friend to wear, she said she could smell the other scents more strongly for a lot longer. /ramble. But this sounds like a specific attack on the OP for some reason. This exactly. You are kind co-worker. But I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on. But it can also be something in the building, in the carpet, or any other thing. Policy. If I were in this spot, I swear at this point I would assume shes only doing this to bother me. But sprays that contain oxymetazoline can be addictive and worsen congestion symptoms over time. . Ive known people like this who take kindness and consideration as a weakness and will exploit it. Is she hassling the other people in your office? The coworker is the problem here. I cannot imagine going to work everyday without perfume on. But if OP doubled down and insists that they dont actually smell, they will frankly not hold as string a position as if they continue to be open to learning about ways they might be bringing patchouli scent to the office. Im reading all the advice here for other potential sources of the smell and Im picturing Gene Hackman in The Conversation, tearing up his apartment looking for a listening device. My office got new carpet and my other pregnant co-worker and I had to work from home for a week because we couldnt deal with the smell. who CANNOT DEAL with the fact that a person doesnt eat cheese. I cant go into a store that just had new carpet put down. Talk to your doctor about Unrelated to any sort of sickness, but I loathe the taste of chicken and always have. I do have patchouli-scented perfumes, but nothing like body wash, incense or diffusers. 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