Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. I had been duped and thereis something better. He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. See Episode 8 of the Something Was Wrong Podcast: There is Much to Confess.. The program is hosted, written, and produced by Tiffany Reese. S1 E15: Safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving Abusive Relationships. According to the DSM-5, traits of APD include: I was flippantly told multiple stories from his childhood about rebellion, lying, and getting in trouble with authority. Hed lied to his family about my job, inflating my position and giving me a title Ive never had. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Yes! episodes discover Most Recent February 24, 2022 1 hr 24 min Download S11 E8: [Molly] Unimaginable Rage This week survivor Molly shares her story. I had the wherewithal at that moment to hold my ground. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched what felt like a movie scene. Aww honey, you just thats not what I said! Ohhhh me. if that's what it takes to get my daughter to see clearly. *Content warning: sexual, physical and emotional violence involving children, childhood abuse, sexual abuse of a child, rape, child sex abuse materials, human trafficking, and suicide. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. Especially women. I just listened and I want to know too. Its fine, Ill just spend the weekend at home. You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. 3 for any nerds curious.) The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. I think she is fortunate to have a plain-speaking family that are only wanting her to have a happy marriage. Something Was Wrong is an immersive docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. This discounts and erases the experiences of male victims of all ages, as well as female victims who have been abused by other females and males who have been abused by males. or to justify a divorce to their church. 1. Violation of physical or emotional rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood (before age 15). If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. I was telling friends I call my special ops that I was amazed by how different our first conversations were. S1 E2: It Was Weird. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. So, that felt oddly relieving. In a healthy relationship, how does a typical child run to their dad? Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. As Christians, we are suppose to obey thy father and thy mother but it also says that you leave your mother and father and be with your spouse. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. He would flip things quickly on anyone who dared question him. I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) I was straightforward and told him exactly what I wrote at the beginning of this paragraph so that he could understand why his words hurt me so badly. I said when can we start?! I was told once by someone who was praying for me that she saw me living behind a fence. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. Every breezy, golden memory now had the word FRAUD painted in red. The people we surround ourselves with are who we will reflect, so hopefully were all chasing something that freaks us out on some level. *Sources: Yahoo News: Womans boyfriend claimed to be an FBI agent, but she felt something was off: 'I cant answer that', In The Know, December 19, 2022: https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/womans-boyfriend-claimed-to-be-an-fbi-agent-but-she-felt-something-was-off-232932588.html Jenna Jeans Tik Tok: @JennaJean8 https://www.tiktok.com/@jennajean8/video/7171129904665218350 For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources S15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrong. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. Nothing will hurt you. Youre easier to read than you think. Nothing to make an escape outwardly justifiable to the public. Y'all are insane. I think they sort of gave up policing people. All excuses, brain-washing, and influences melted away. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. 2022 Find Your Voice, All Rights Reserved. Heres the biggest revelation of many this summer: I am deserving of my dreams, and on top of that, Gods for me are bigger. Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. He sees farther than we do. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. Sara discusses the discovery of Dick's ex girlfriends and how answers help the healing process. What do I mean? I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. And her family is definitely extracan you say ENMESHED PARENTING.but to each his own. (IM SORRY JOHN & STACI I blatantly judged your book by its cover. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts. Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. They move on to their next conquest, leaving behind a shell of a person who thinks their lack of direction is their own fault. 1:54:06. And if youre hearing Saras story for the first time, wellyoure in for a wild ride!Show Notes:Something Was Wrong Podcast (Saras story is Season 1)Follow Sara @spaceandpurposeFollow Kaitlin @kaitlingraceelliottFollow SWE @so.what.elseKaitlins Website. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. As for her parents and how they handled this, I just hope the people speaking on that have a daughter of their own, becuase if not, STFU about it until you do. When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. Make it sing! Carry that note with finger 2, not 3! For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. We belong to Him. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. We would have this wedding. like seriously awful. Still in the first season of it, and was instantly hooked after the first episode. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. What was wrong, and how could I fix it? To let Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and, surprise: learn about His anger on my behalf. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. (Genesis 1:31, paraphrased.) Something Was Wrong. For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing. Fall has always been a favorite. (Do you kinda feel that? That type of restionship is one that I would run from solely because of her family. It costs relationships. And have control issues. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. I am not licensed to diagnose, but trusty ol Google checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100%. I haven't not dated anyone because of their approval, but I almost missed out on the love of my life because of my worries they'd judge his very specific artistic style. That SAME song always, is so indescribably bad. Women are excellent at busying themselves going about duties and often sacrificing those little girl dreams in the process. It has nothing to do with exposing him as a person, but everything to do with re-constructing my own sense of reality, up from down, right from wrong. The more examples he gave, the more memories came back. Our hearts. I laughed and cried all the way home, using the experience to learn how to trust my gut and we both moved on to live our best lives.). 15. For some reason this of all things pierced my heart. I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. Read More Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. We were at Blue Bottle in Oakland when he called someone fat out loud well within earshot of that person, and I began scanning the doors for my exit strategy. (I realize not everyone reading this shares my beliefs. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. Me. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. Or we feel we need someone. This is why isolation vs. community involvement is a big factor here. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! Ashley Abercrombie: So youre a ghostwriter? It makes me cringe. Ok thats wild fast! It wreaks havoc on your mind, emotions and even your physical body. Your confusion and brain fog could very well be the result of cognitive dissonance caused by your brain attempting to sort out two opposing realities. Air is huge. Mind blowing. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. During the second half, I had the opportunity to sit in the audience and feel their engagement. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . Shatterdaymorn category podcast true crime Plot summary Add synopsis Genres Documentary But that song that plays at the intro and the end. What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. What if exposure isnt such a bad thing? 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. The first round back in 2015 started with breaking down my fences, telling myself the truth, and exploring whats on the other side. Lots of good ones but this is the best! . When I regained control and came out, he looked at me like I was crazy. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. I could fart and hed call it blessed. A good Father does not take away to leave a permanent void. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. (Do you kinda feel that? This is a really great podcast that delves into very important issues. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. Some patterns of abuse possibly even before Dick was on the scene. It still irritates me. 12/22/2022. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Press J to jump to the feed. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. This season, we continue to share the stories of incredible survivors and their shocking life discoveries and recovery from them. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. Weve been stretched thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not brought to our knees as a whole. However, this is my playground and Im honored to have your eyes as guests for a few moments.) Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus far. I'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a littleextra lol. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? Regardless of sexual orientation or life goals, I think women want to know if they are needed and desired while simply being. The weirdness would wear off and wed have a blast. He doesnt want a casual connection- He wants our fire, our very worst AND best. Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. Not a fan. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. [Alice + John + Naomi] You Wouldn't Believe It. His family was placing big burdens on him. I have yet to find another one that I enjoy as much! Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. The old man is dead. He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! Thats whats happening. Thats whats happening. At 40, I have introduced only my abusive ex/father of my child and now partner to only my mom and aunt. May 1, 2021 3:47pm. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. Tap it differently and it will sound better. When they took him to dinner WITHOUT HER after just a few dates my jaw dropped. *Content warning: emotional and sexual abuse. Its very simple: youre more excited to be with your roommate and thats fine. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. I want my friends to feel safe. Yikes. He just needed to get out. Playlists from our community. "SmartLess" with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity. I thought so too but upon checking this isn't the case. But she is, self admittedly, in a bubble when it comes to her upbringing and her family. Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. Suns finally out, am I right?, Me: Oh! This makes so much sense to me. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. Emotions came but I shoved them down and started thinking through examples he might be referring to. I froze and watched as he swiftly closed it with a few keystrokes, his face expressionless. . Please God, if you have any mercy dont let her catch the pianissimo she overlooked. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. I added much to his life. He pulled me out of the trap to begin with; He will restore everything. A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. 1. Jesus said to approach Him as children do. Abuse Recovery, christianity, Uncategorized. Calling them accomplices in the oppression of a victim and pointing out that theyre devaluing the victims life in favor of the abusers might get me some backlash and Im just not ready or qualified to enter that ring.). This is the most insane story I have ever heard. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. Playlists. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. It was very beautiful, covered in blossoming vines and beautiful flowers, but it was a wall. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to actively seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. I agree. Real-Time. I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-Winning immersive storytelling docuseries podcast that focuses on the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. *Content warning: Physical and sexual violence, rape. Her family is AWFUL!! It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. More and more of us are waking up at our own pace, shaking off the itll go back to normal soon complacency that gives us permission to coast through times of unrest and wait it out.. I grabbed the bags from the car, crossed the parking lot to greet him while my roommate continued on into the house, and when I saw his posture I paused. Something Was Wrong with Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) EPISODE 83 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. The next, they were idiots. My brain hurt and I wondered if Id found its capacity when I was informed that it was now time to change the physical look of my hands while they were doing the impossible. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, March 9th 2023. In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead . He, meets me. And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Its insidious and the cost is incredibly high. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didnt think of herself as brave. But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. I had no frame of reference for what he meant because I was ecstatic to see him. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. He always meets me. Shop apparel, accessories, and more! I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. It started with the role I play in His heart. Im just now binging. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. Looking back, until my current love, no one was really worth it. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. I cleared up their confusion while distinctly noticing awkward tension and his lack of comment. He gained access by discovering what mattered to me, big and little things, and making them matter to him. Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show Latest Episodes [Diana] The Devil in Disguise New Episodes First E S15 E5 Feb 23, 2023 1 hr 9 min Play with Wondery+ If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. YOU matter. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. Pleaded for him to give it some time. Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, every gut-punch, every moment of confusion. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. Enough to let go and be free. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. When I saw Something Was Wrong in Apple's "Purple Podcast App" (as Lindsey Chrisley always refers to it on Coffee Convos), I thought I'd listen to one episode just to see what it was about.It was previously an Audiochuck production, but is now part of Wondery / Amazon Music.. With a Wondery+ subscription, episodes are ad-free which really makes listening to podcasts enjoyable - and fast. Yes, were imperfect and still sinning because we live in a conflicted world, but we are no longer slaves to it. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. [deleted] 4 yr. ago. That dude needs major help. Its very real.). Claim and edit this page to your liking. I thought they were deleting all comments identifying him? Season 9 features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery who the f*ck is Ardie? Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Is it time yet? FREE interactive safety plan to help you prepare: loveisrespect.org. I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. Literally the only podcast other than Bloody Happy Hour Podcast that I have listened to every episode and I cant wait each week for the newest episode to drop! Podcast Discovery . No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. New episodes come out every Monday for free, with 1-week early access when you join Amazon Music or 1-week early and ad-free for Wondery+ subscribers I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. (God forbid should observers figure out I have no idea what the hell Im doing.). 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