It's the rhetorical equivalent of going nuclear and stupid at the same time., The only thing we knew for certain was the American Civil War was not a prelude to a kiss., It turned out that in the governance of a nations security, many absurd situations had to be worked around: a toxic clown in the Foreign Office [Boris Johnson], a state visit by a narcissistic bed-wetter [Trump], the tendency of the electorate to jump off' the occasional cliff [Brexit]., Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces., One good thing about being an immigrant in the US, no one cares about my sociopolitical opinion. 98 per cent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working Americans. Politics is show business for ugly people. // logged into Facebook user but not a GR app user; show FB button This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. Hilarious quotes and sayings about women. I have a very secure job. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. Running for president is like sticking your face in the blade of a fan. Political humor quotes The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. He's still introducing himself." 7. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time -, No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties -, The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries -, There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen -, Truth is not determined by majority vote -, Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few -, Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve -, Mars is essentially in the same orbit (as Earth). Although politics is typically viewed as a serious business, it is certainly not without its share of gaffes, jokes, and funny quotes that satisfy our desire to poke fun at public political figures. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. "Political courage is not political suicide." Arnold Schwarzenegger "There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail." Will Rogers "Crime does not pay, as well as politics." Alfred E. Newman "Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects." Lester B. Pearson "We can play politics, or we can reduce crime." Bobby Scott The first is money, and I cant remember the second. It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. RD.COM Arts & Entertainment Quotes Funny, The honorable Member is living proof that a pigs bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament. Labor Member of Parliament Tony Banks on Tory Member of Parliament Terry Dicks. Anyone that belongs to a party stops thinking. Tom Blair, 10. 02 of 80 Historians Against the Misuse of History 03 of 80 I Hate Crowds 04 of 80 The Dude Abides 05 of 80 " The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music. America Ferrera, Actress and Political Activist. }); " Lily Tomlin Also featured in: Success Quotes 3. I scream for ice cream. Here is an example. And why do politicians say such stupid things? Very funny jokes to inflict on your friends, facebook or in the flesh. //]]>. Pinterest. A politician is a person with whose politics you dont agree. There's no way I could be president of the United States, I have no; military experience, I've never run a business, for godsakes I mean- who could possibly clear that bar. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. Funny political quotes Great political jokes . Politicians are like diapers. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. politicians should have three hats - one to throw into the ring, one to Robert A. Heinlein - Plato. Dude, that really WAS a killer wave!" That low down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass - and I'm just the one to do it! Enjoy these political funny quotes? RT @rtopmemesubs: Last time I posted here everyone complained this sub is too political https://memes.subreddit.site/last-time-i-posted-here-everyone-complained-this . Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters. Here are the best 2022 voting quotes and election day quotes. Also included are the thoughts of commentators, journalists, and satirists who keep our leaders under perpetual scrutiny and who can observe the good, the bad, and the ugly of the political world with an independent mind and a witty turn of phrase. Its the other lousy 2 percent that get all the publicity. Jimmy Fallon. This then is my selection of 100 of the most memorable of all quotes, jokes, jibes, and analyses of political life. Political Humor Quotes. The people who need it most never use it.". Unless otherwise credited, all content 2012 JokeQuote.com. "Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Very short jokes that will stick in your mind like dog heair on a wool suit. Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape. " 8. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Quotes tagged as "political-humor" Showing 1-30 of 35. A middle-aged farmer working on the field nearby saw the accident and decided to help: he dug a huge hole and buried all the politicians who were still alive. Mark Hanna, 8. Any such comparison not only denigrates the value of democracy - it can also cheapen the struggle of those who live under tyranny. Political slogans say a lot not just about a given election but also about the state of the body politic at a particular period of time. unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. Raheel Farooq, 14. This video is about quotes that have made a lasting impac. We need more statesmen -, Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy -, Practical politics consists in ignoring facts, Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other -, A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life -, We have the best government that money can buy -. Funny Quotes. 100 Inspirational Quotes 1. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. Being president is like running a cemetery: youve got a lot of people under you and nobodys listening. percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working Thank you. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Cant get enough funny political quotes? She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.Jonathan Aitken, a former Conservative Member of Parliament, on former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed -, After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood -, The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop -, All government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery -, No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent -, Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. $grfb.init.done(function() { have a deeply divided body politic. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. Its the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.- John Kenneth Galbraith, Without going to jail, you cannot be a big politician.- Babban Kumar, member of Parliament in India, He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. It is also about the future of our lives and the lives of our descendants on this planet. is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds Politicians who say how much they hate Washington but run for reelection are like people who stay married to Mel Gibson. There is numerous incident that happened in the history of politics when some politicians or activities or actor made some funny statements about politics and political leaders. Top 25 Funny Quotes (2022 Update) - Quotefancy 1. Some of these especially dim-witted remarks are also included here. New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. That points clearly to a political career. Lily Tomlin, 9. Politics are always a heated topic. 9. -, Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind -, Government exists to protect us from each other. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Will RogersPolitical (No Credentials Whatsoever). It is especially humorous because many political quotes tend to be served with a side of satire . The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. "Smile from your heart; nothing is more beautiful than a woman (person) who is happy to be herself." Kubra Sait "A day without laughter is a day wasted." Charlie Chaplin "A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away." Bil Keane "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." A. They can be wise, witty, or foolish. Half of our population believes our I've already included a few of these, but indeed the whole of this page could have been filled with his pronouncements. Apr 25, 2022 - Funny Political Memes Republic and Democrat. Its the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. "You must be a Democrat." "I am. America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'". "Cheers and Beers to 21 Years!". But I repeat myself. is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds -, Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts)." Anonymous #2 "If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener." J.C. Raulston #3 "Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough" Anonymous I'm not a great believer in political parties. Every time I told them people laugh, no matter age or condition. I dont think we should go to the moonI think we maybe should send some politicians up there. My favourite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays. Or is it because the bright people have all been snapped up to do other things that are more productive and intellectual, like education or law or business or stacking the shelves in a supermarket? Christians Finding It Easier To Stop Storing Up Treasure On Earth Under Biden CHRISTIAN LIVING - Oct 13, 2022 -. "He came second". 8. Politics Valetine's in 2022 Roses are red, nuts are brown, skirts go up, pants go down. And to have the ability which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick My choice early in life was between whether to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. Funny Political 2022 3,963 Results Let's Go Brandon Sticker By Fyms From $1.99 donald trump 2024 take America back, political Funny Joe Biden anti biden harris retro 2022/2024 trump shirt Essential T-Shirt By ohmaDD $16.56 $23.66 (30% off) lets go brandon Sticker By Two Digits 20 From $1.28 TORY SCUM, all tories are cunts Classic T-Shirt By Merazi If there is water, that means there is oxygen. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. Funniest Political Quotes in the history of politics 1. It's not their field. These words from ancient Greeks suggest that cynicism and concern about the political process has always existed. When asked what her favorite gift was, she said, 'Donald Trump.'". I went to a party dressed as a piata." I'm Murshid Akram, a introvert who love reading and sharing positive vibes through quotes and sayings. Sports / Baseball / Football / Basketball / Dogs / Cats / More Short Jokes plus Funny T-shirts / Funny Signs / Tombstones / Bumper Stickers, Random Jokes / Favorite Jokes / Funny Emails / Funny Lists / Practical Jokes, Love / Marriage / Parents / Kids / Women / Men / Family / Grandparents / Seniors / Aging / Friendship, Life / Death / Inspiration / Work / Money / Success / Mankind, Movies / Music / Famous People / Funny Proverbs / Fortune Cookies / Witty Retorts, Health / Doctor / Food / Exercise / Beauty / Clothes, Travel / Writing / Books / TV / Advertising, Science / Nature Time / Reality Weather / Tech / School / College, Very Funny Jokes For Your Fun-Loving Friends, Very Short Jokes That Remain In Your Brain. Hillary Clinton Funny Political Meme Picture. 5'1 is my height but my attitude is 7'4. But there are some jokes that you do not have to be a professional to understand, like this very funny jokes. Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. So here are a few more just for fun: The more that I read of the ancient philosophers, the more I realise that mankind hasn't really changed all that much. If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. They are not, and the failings of democratic nations such as America or the UK should not be compared in any way to the failings of truly evil regimes and the people who preside over them. It's the one joke game where EVERYBODY gets to be a comedian! I am a passionate believer in democracy and too many people trivialise its importance by likening democratic leaders such as the President of the United States or the Prime Minister of Great Britain to fascists, tyrants and dictators. talk through, and one to pull rabbits out of if elected. "Be strong," I whisper to my WiFi signal. We recommend our users to update the browser. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. Here are some more of Churchills most motivational quotes. "If you can't laugh at yourself, call me. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we -, If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim." Shop Funny Political Quotes Christmas cards from Zazzle to find festive greeting cards, photo cards & more. if (this.auth.status === "not_authorized") { The irony being that if they want a government that is of the people, by the people, and for the people they'll need to rid it of all the people., You dont need to understand anatomy to know that main stream media is an organ of the Democrat party, and you dont need to be a urologist to know which organ., Well, Mr. Lincoln, when it comes to political short-sightedness I agree you can't fool all of the people all of the time, but apparently you can fool all of the fools all of the time., I know of three ways to convince people to change their party politics; but the first two dont work and the third has yet to be successful., There are three ways to convince people to change their party politics; but the first way doesn't work and the other two have yet to be invented., There are three ways to convince people to change their political affiliation; but the first way doesn't work and the other two have yet to be invented., bribery: (n.) invisible grease that makes politics go round and round., Khalil Bendib, with a few ingenious strokes of his pen, gets to the heart of the issues of our time. Ron Paul, 13. We are a part of Europe. It comes out dripping, and starts to sag, it's not what you think.. Its a teabag! But he was also renowned for his one-liners and cutting jibes: Poor Dan Quayle! It is fast approaching the point where I dont want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves -, For NASA, space is still a high priority -. Newest funny jokes of the day. 2022 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. November 2, 2022 Daily Memes Joe Biden, oil companies, windfall tax Political Memes and Funny Pictures Social Media Posts of the Day Quote of the Day Putin's Fault Biden threatens higher taxes on oil companies if they do not work to lower gas prices Great idea, President Brandon! Funny Political Meme Yeah If You Could Not Annihilate The American Economy For Political Gain That'D Be Great Picture. Groucho Marx 0 Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. Has Debate With Imaginary Obama Loses Funny Political Meme Image. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponents youth and inexperience. Ronald Reagan, 4. I dont want to be rude but, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.Former U.K. Share your favorite one in the comment section. There are two things that are important in politics. 07, 2022 America is a great country, but as far as put-downs go, we can learn a thing or two from. up a turd by the clean end.- Unknown Author, Politics is show business for ugly people.- Paul BegalaI am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.- Sen. Everett Dirksen, I have the most reliable friend you can have in American politics, and that is ready money.Phil GrammI offer my opponents a bargain. George Bernard Shaw, 11. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I'm pora pora. Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to the pure wind George Orwell, 3. Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more. One liner tags: fighting, political 81.09 % / 984 votes. It is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters. I especially like the words of Plato - even today a smooth and attractive talker is more likely to get elected than a thoughtful, wise and honest person. $j("#facebookRegPrompt").hide(); If ignorance goes to forty dollars a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head. Be the first to rate this post. 98 A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. Hillary Clinton Funny Political Meme Photo. Here's what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. $j("#connectPrompt").show(); I begin and end with two universal truisms from the world of politics. Halloween Jokes for Kids: better than candy, and a tricky treat. They both need to be changed often. It's like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. The game where EVERYBODYgets to be funny!In person or online. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. - Lucille Ball. RT @kaveen_baxter: MRW I open my inbox and it's nothing but political emails #funny #humor . Harry S. Truman, 5. Frankly, you've been no help." "You must be a Republican." "Yes. And for the same reason. . But in the interest of giving a say to all sidesa necessary pre-requisite in a democracyhere are just a few quotes that will reflect the downsides of democracy. Funny death quotes to help you laugh about it now so you won't mind it later. I believe with love and compassion we can make this world a better place. #christians #finding #easier #stop #storing #treasure #earth #biden #christian #living #oct. OuterRaven. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation., Liberal, shmiberal. "Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 68 today. The hardest thing I ever tried is being normal. My favorite Halloween Joke List. All of the problems we face today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indians. All politicians should have three hats one to throw into the ring, one to talk through, and one to pull rabbits out of if elected. That points clearly to a political career. Is it because the pressure of the job plays havoc with the mind when our leaders have to speak off the cuff? The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law -, In politics we presume that everyone who knows how to get votes knows how to administer a city or a state. ORourke, 19. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. I would argue that for all these downsides, the alternatives - a lawless anarchic society or rule by an unrestrained, undemocratic minority - are infinitely worse: Science is not just about academic knowledge of physics, chemistry, and biology. Great British wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill was famous for his powerful emotion-stirring statements. - Doug LarsonPolitics Get a dog!, Rev. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - PlatoState legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prevents them from running for higher office.- Dennis Miller98 Its like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Funny Jokes. "I'm glad you were the strongest sperm.". Head LafologistGreg Tamblyn, N.C.W. All tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. I don't make jokes. You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I've found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. Universal History Archive / Universal Images Group/Shutterstock, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer). " The road to success is always under construction. So it is quite frightening to see the idiocy presented by some elected representatives. Blood and glass were everywhere. More like flee the country and move to a small island. But then, we elected them. And the people who practice politics may therefore be both loved and loathed, respected and ridiculed, or eulogised and feared by different sections of the community. Pinterest. up a turd by the clean end. Get the funniest new jokes & quotes every month! Ronald Reagan ________________________________ Sick of politics quotes Politicians are the same all over. A Jos Maria de Ea de Queiroz, Related: 75 Democracy Slogans and Independence Quotes, 16. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not a President and senators and congressmen and government officials, but the voters of this country -, When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us -, No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. 10 Quotes about the Jobs Politicians do Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy - Ernest Benn In politics, absurdity is not a handicap - Napoleon Bonaparte Practical politics consists in ignoring facts - Henry Adams "Last Halloween I got beat up. A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. And I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners., When a political opponent resorts to the racist card, it's a sure sign of moral bankruptcy: there's no decent argument left in the armoury., Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature., Godwin's law states that the longer any online debate goes on, the likelier it is that someone will play the Nazi card. One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. Will Rogers 1 Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. Hilarious quotes and short clean jokes to help you remember (sigh) it's always been this way. On Netflix. Nikita Khrushchev, 18. Politics is not the art of the possible. - John Nichols It must be October, the trees are falling away and showing their true colors. -. A few quotes: "We need more Politicians, like Custer needed more arrows." - Anonymous "Why are Politicians diverting Federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? Is it because the media spotlight demands an instant answer to any problem, however complex, thereby creating a paranoia that precludes clear thought? We need more statesmen.- Bob Edwards, There are two things that are important in politics. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, Id join the Tea Party., You want a friend in this city? have a deeply divided body politic. MilkSnort! And to have the ability politicians should have three hats - one to throw into the ring, one to